Once in awhile I am afforded the opportunity of bringing South Africans and Australians closer together in the interests of both countries. While this doesn't occur often - yesterday I was heartened to see an article on IOL headed - "Guess what Australia's skills need is... " - which got me thinking that perhaps we could assist them in their quest.
"Sydney - A lobby group for brothel owners on Tuesday demanded a skilled migration stream for foreign sexworkers because Australia's booming economy needs more sexworkers just like it needs more doctors, plumbers and welders. "We're seeking a human-rights approach to labour migration generally, so that any labour migration policy can include a non-discriminatory approach to sexworkers as well," Scarlet Alliance spokesperson Elena Jeffreys told national broadcaster ABC."
Of course the bit about "human-rights" used in conjunction with "Aussies" and "sexworkers" threw me completely. My understanding of the average red-blooded Australian male and his idea of a good roll in the hay has nothing to do with human-rights or, to be frank, humans at all.
So it's a good thing that I saw the article or those poor buggers would have landed up with some of our belters with the odd Russian bride thrown in - no good to them at all.
No it's sheep they're after and where better than South Africa to source the blighters? We've got loads of 'em scattered around the country and at the price these cobbers are prepared to pay for their sexworkers, most farmers I spoke to said they didn't believe their "ladies" were doing anything in particular next Friday.
Don't let me catch any of you lot sniggering...there's a lot to be said for dating across the species line - Most of it in court ...but I digress.
Jeffreys argued "that the millions of dollars a year the immigration department spent raiding brothels and deporting illegal workers would be saved if sex workers could apply for visas under the skilled migrant category."
I always thought that they only deported these "sexworkers" if they had Bluetongue, Indigestion or Q Fever but there you go. Mind you I can just imagine the disruption to their brothels every time there's a raid - what with hordes of men in asbestos suits (in case of foot and mouth) those poor ewes bleating and the cobbers under the bed in case their bosses find out .
"If human rights can be broadened to include migrant sexworkers in Australia, then people have got a better chance of stopping exploitation before it happens," she said. Immigration officials have already rejected the proposal, saying that sexworkers, like would-be fruit pickers, did not qualify for working visas because their level of skill was too low".
I wouldn't be so quick to judge if I was one of those immigration officials - Given the choice between an Aussie or a Redhead Persian to call on "Who wants to be a millionaire?" and I'd go for the sheep every time.
Our sheep must have every chance of cracking those visas and voila we're in bed with the Aussies!
Or at least our sheep are.
Posted on behalf of Michael Trapido.