Saturday, November 14, 2009

Santa Claus vs Godless Joe = Shop till you smile vs "Let's Spend Christmas Alone and Crying"

Joe will spearhead our [atheists] efforts to bring children to the reality that there is nothing more to life than eating, sleeping, and defecating, and urge them to follow our dictates of societal norms and morality rather than the outdated and unfounded notions of the past or their personal consciences. We feel confident that by the end of the year, Godless Joe will be spreading our message in almost every shopping mall in America."
Godless Joe will not hand out presents to children in the traditional sense. Rather, he will distribute "Let's Spend Christmas Alone and Crying" coloring books, "The Preschoolers' Guide to Playground Sexual Harassment," and "Mom, Dad, Grandma, and You are All Going to Die and Be Gone Forever" pop up book.

SHOOT: Should be a big hit
clipped from
"Every year atheists are at a distinct disadvantage during the Solstice Season. The simple fact is Santa Clause is the best propaganda tool the Christians have to bribe their children into church once a year and extort at least a month and a half of relatively tolerable behavior out of them. The simple answer to this problem would simply be to abort all these useless eaters before they were born and replace them with more earth friendly beings such as dolphins and otters, or at lease implement a dedicated eugenics program to prevent those less enlightened than us from breeding. However, since the courts are just as dedicated to the illogical and unnatural concept of humans being better than other life forms for some unknown reason, as the unwashed religious masses are to cranking out kids, these solutions are still years away.
"Well, all that is changing today with the creation of Godless Joe, the Solstice Icon for the New Millennium.
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